The Story No One Wants to Hear

A little over three weeks ago I started dieting and going to the gym again. Now I've spent a lot of my life working out, but I've never been on a diet before. I've never felt like I needed it because, despite the fact that I've been steadily gaining weight for the last few years, I was crazy skinny before so I was just coming into normal size. The problem was that I was not used to that. I've spent my whole life thus far having size 00 jeans fall off me in the fitting room. There are a couple of brands that made a 0 or 00 that fit me, so I've only ever owned maybe four pairs of jeans at any given time-- and you can forget about any other kinds of pants.

So when those smallest-of-the-small-size pants started to be too small for me, I didn't even realize what was happening for a long time. I've outgrown things, yes, but never in my life have I ever been too heavy to wear something. I was so used to being tiny that once I was no longer tiny I didn't even notice. It wasn't until my skinny jeans couldn't get over my hips at all that it hit me: I was getting chubby.

An interlude here to say that all the people who just rolled their eyes or got offended because that's still a small size and I don't understand what it's like to be REALLY big, I should shut up and be grateful, etc: Go play in the street.

Anyway, the moment I realized this was when I came home one day and peeled myself out of my previously relaxed-fitting bootcut jeans into a much more comfortable pair of sweatpants. That's when it dawned on me-- "These are FAT PANTS. Holy crap I have fat pants. I have to wear fat pants."

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that not being a size 0 makes you fat. But when all your pants give you muffin top such that you stopped wearing fitted shirts to hide it and the only thing that fits right is your sweatpants? Those are fat pants. And on someone who's barely five feet tall with a short stubby little torso, a size 2-4 is starting to look chubby. Yeah the size is small, but so is the rest of me. Proportionally it doesn't look small at all.

So I decided to do something about it. I calculated my basic metabolic rate, figured out how many calories I needed a day to maintain, and tried to stay around 500 calories beneath that. I made an effort to keep my calories from fat as minimal as possible and to avoid simple carbohydrates more than once a day. I made sure to spread out my food over the day instead of eating two big meals and a snack like I normally do. I already walk about 45-70 minutes a day to get around, so I added going to the gym 2-3 times a week as time permitted. Since my stamina was really low (mostly from my asthma) I started off just on the elliptical and recumbent bike and, when that got easy, I added some weight training. I never spend more than an hour at the gym.

So now, at a little over three weeks of this, I didn't feel any better. I didn't think I looked any different. Until this morning, I wanted to wear long pants but the only clean ones I had were a pair of extremely unforgiving high-waisted American Apparel skinny jeans... A pair that had ceased to fit over my hips months ago. So I tried them and... POW. Fit perfectly.

I want to share my success with people but, like my original frustration with my weight, no one wants to hear it. People will congratulate me and all but generally hearing about it being easy for me makes other people feel bad. I think Ryan North is right on here when he says "dieting is about commiserating" and no one wants to hear someone going "GUYS LOOK WHAT I DID EASILY" especially when no one thought I was chubby in the first place.

Anyway, so the final punctuation on what I'm sure has been a wholly infuriating read for most of you is this: Today I rushed home from dinner with my boyfriend so I could make it to the gym before they closed because I didn't want to skip a day. When I was adding my workout to my log I realized I hadn't really eaten much today. So on my way home I stopped at the store and got a package of little chocolate donuts as a reward, and also to make sure I got enough calories today.



Now you all hate me, thank you, goodnight.

Honolulu AIDS Walk

April 17th is the 20th annual Honolulu AIDS Walk!

This event benefitsThe Life Foundation is a local organization that does amazing things. They're the state's oldest and largest AIDS-related organization and, as such, serve over 75% of the state's people, providing rapid HIV testing, education and prevention programs, and support services for patients of HIV/AIDS. This doesn't just include counseling and medical care, but home care, groceries, and a wide variety of other essential services. They currently serve over 60% of all HIV/AIDS patients in the state including men, women, and children from every income level and ethnic group. They operate an extensive peer-to-peer prevention effort that targets people at the most risk for contracting HIV, offering support and education. They go out of their way to reach people in the community; if you need an HIV test but can't or don't want to go to their office, they will send an inconspicuous employee to meet you anywhere on island for your cheek swab.

I've volunteered for them in the past, and this is really amazing considering that they operate out of one tiny office the size of a small apartment in Honolulu. Now I'm the captain of team Psychic Unity of Anthropology. We're the UH anthropology department's team and, the event being so far in advance, we are woefully short on people and donations.

You can help by spreading the word about the event or donating directly to our team page. I don't receive any compensation for bringing in donations, this money goes directly to Life Foundation programs.

Thank you very much for anything you can give and any efforts to help us reach more people. You are helping us create a safer, healthier Hawaii and for that you have our great appreciation.

Job Applicants Are People, Too

I've spent way more time than I'd like to admit applying for jobs over the last year and a half since I moved here. In that time there have been periods where I was applying to something new every few days for weeks at a time. I can't rightly estimate how many jobs I've applied for, but I can give you the exact number of times I've been rejected: Zero.

That's right, zero rejections! But I'm still unemployed, right? How is this possible? Because I got no responses at all. None that said yes, or no, or hey we got your application. Nothing. And every time I called a place to say "did you get that thing I sent ya" after sending applications by email (maybe it got lost in the internet tubes somewhere?) they were generally dodgy and annoyed that I was wasting their precious phone time. One place I applied to was a wee little business run by one woman, so she can't even use the too-many-applications-to-contact-everyone excuse. In fact no one can, because this is a tiny island and I know that there will never be more than MAYBE two dozen applications for any job opening ever.

So to all potential employers I say: what gives? Don't you understand that we're people, too? We have feelings, for one, and it is very stressful the weeks after applying for a job when you're wondering if you'll get an interview and then you never hear anything at all. It's rude, on top of that, to treat applicants like we should be grateful for any time you ever spend interacting with us. What more, we are customers. We probably want to work for you because we like your company, but if we apply for a job and never ever hear from you, that's gonna turn us off. And if we apply by mail and then you get all huffy when we call to see if you received it? We are not going to like your company anymore. And just like any bad other customer experience, that is really bad for you.

What more, you have no idea how little work it would take to make us happy. This week, after a year and a half of this crap, I emailed an application and the company replied to let me know they were looking at it and that if I didn't hear in four weeks I could assume I had not been selected. They also asked me for additional information and when I supplied it they replied again to thank me for responding promptly.

There, two emails consisting of about three sentences each. And now I love these guys and I won't even be mad if they reject me. I'm even more hopeful that I'll get this position now, and even if I don't I'll gladly keep supporting their organization. By contrast, runs-her-own-business lady lost me completely. I had been really interested in supporting a new business that did a lot of things I liked, but not anymore. This is the most effortless good press you can possibly buy yourself as a company, don't ruin it by treating your applicants like crap.