Universities: Not giving a shit about your flash cards since 1636

So. I saw a pre-health advisor and said "What do I need to do to get into an epidemiology program?" and she was like "Uh go back in time and do a pre-med track?" so I guess that's out.

I've spent the last week gradually coming to terms with the idea that, no, I am not going to be a scientist. I will probably never be a scientist. And while that SUCKS, I guess it makes sense. My advisor pointed out that when I talk about public health I talk about it like a social science, not a lab. Despite my interest in the biological sciences, my performance in the social sciences has always been substantially better. She thinks I might find it difficult to deal with public health in terms of empricism rather than personal interaction, which is partly true. So she showed me what I would have to do to get into a program for global epidemiology and a program for global health and said I should do whichever I felt was better suited, but an epi program means 1) another year of school and 2) that much more loans, which may max me out before I've finished grad school.

She also made it clear that it's very common for people to do a non-science MPH track and then later on their careers get additional education in the sciences. So basically, I can also go back and do it, but I can't undo the time/money spent on doing it now. So I went from global health to global epi and back to global health again, which I guess is okay.

The problem I'm really having is that I had been thinking my whole life that I wanted to be a SCIENTIST. I want to do science! When I was little I was always saying I wanted to do genetic research, or be a doctor, or a biologist, etc. So I am a little disappointed that I finally have to admit that I suck at it.